Hmmmmm now there's an idea!

[ivybgreenflower]

Maybe I should write something in my journal that I would if I had a real journal. If I believed in offline journals, anyway.
Let's see. Today I was severely disappointed. I watched a LOT of Beatles stuff and when Free as a Bird came on I actually started to cry. I've been waiting to cry for a long time. It doesn't help, but it feels good to let go and cry.
I don't know why, but I feel so restricted by being home with my parents constantly. And then when they both go to work I feel so alone I cry.
I've stopped eating all that much. I have been reduced to a quivering heap of useless matter. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?
I feel kind of like I lost myself and I don't know where I put me, and retracing my steps just makes me feel even more lost. "I've had enough... I can't put up with any more."

If abandoning me was supposed to be so I didn't have to get hurt, it backfired; exactly the opposite effect seems to have happened and there's nothing I can do about it.

BUT:
Who's coming with us on our intervention? I'm feeling particularly bloodthirsty and a certain fast-food place has just the meat I'm looking for.

Ivy "What's the point?" Greenflower @ 11:59 PM

Comments

Re: Darkest night, eternal blight

[takauji.livejournal.com]

Being alone at times can be rather nice. Only when im alone i can blast the classical dark sounding music i love so much, Muse in particular has a sound i love so. But then again being alone stuck in this room, waking to know every day will be the same doesnt help things at all. For two years ive pondered many thoughts, found myself feeling sadly alone amidst my friends whom ive again wondered many times if i should even call them that seeing how ive only seen more than james once in all this time aside from the girlfriend i once had.

Anyway i know it all sucks ass but try occupying yourself with things, i for one deeply enjoy learning new things, thus- trips to the library and finding books on my favorite subject always make me feel better. then again i also enjoy simply sitting back and listening to my music. Anyway this comment must be cut sort sort seeing how my mom just trudged in here angrily, lol im surprised seeing how me staying up late is nothing new at all.

-love, luck, and lollipops
-cuddlebunny

Re: Darkest night, eternal blight

[ivybgreenflower]

You're such a good wife. :) + <3
Ivyette

[living-in-ennui.livejournal.com]

...a certain fast-food place has just the meat I'm looking for.

Hahaha. Don't worry, we'll take care of this soon enough. ;)

[ivybgreenflower]

WHEEE!
Ivyette