Petey

[ivybgreenflower]

I just can't believe something I love so much died in my hands. I can't believe he'll never chirp again, or talk again, or kiss me when I walk in the room again. Every single thing reminds me of him. I burst into tears watching American Idol. And then Kylie Minogue was on Dancing with the Stars, and he loved Kylie. I can't believe I still have tears left. I can't read my books because they all have bite marks on them. I can't listen to music because he and I used to listen to music together. Agnes Carlsson was his favorite. She has a few appropriate songs, "Let Me Carry You" and "What Do I Do With All This Love?". I did carry him. When he got too weak to fly, and then too weak to stand up on his own, I carried him around. (His favorite Agnes song was "Love Is All Around".) It's even harder for my mother because I sleep during the day, and now there's absolutely no one for her to talk to. I feel so unbearably lonely. I don't know what to do with myself. This bird wasn't just a bird... he was a lot like a dog. He was excited when we came home, he talked to us and gave us kisses, he cuddled, he was adorable, he was loving and lovable... I just can't stand it. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I miss him so much. We're having him cremated. I started collecting his feathers.
I want him back. I want the pain to go away.

-4:35 AM

Comments

[themookish.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you should try sleeping at night at an attempt to alleviate the loneliness.

[ivybgreenflower]

But the nights aren't lonely. The days are lonely because my mother's at work and daytime TV sucks.

[vulgarsarcasity.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Grace :(

[ivybgreenflower]

Aww, thanks. <33

[conscientiously.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry this happened, Grace. I know how much you love him and I can only imagine how you feel right now. I agree with Danny that you might feel better if you were awake with your mom during the day. That's up to you though. In any case, I hope you feel better soon.

[ivybgreenflower]

I appreciate it. <3
Actually, my mother works, so the days are even lonelier than the nights, and I haven't been sleeping during the day anyway. Or at night, for that matter.