Ivy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ivybgreenflower) wrote2004-02-23 04:32 pm
ivybgreenflower) wrote2004-02-23 04:32 pm
Thoughts
I am consumed by hatred once again. No, no, no. Must. Deny. Hatred. Must. Deny. Sadness. Blah.
Well... I thought I could let go. I thought I could stop the awful feelings and everything, but I guess I'll be haunted forever. It's no use; it's like I'm more content being completely miserable than when I'm happy. I should have known.
I'm very bitter now.
grr.
In other news... I cooked salsa al pomodori (I think) yesterday... that's tomato sauce, lmao.
Cooking is fun. Except when things burn. Then it's not fun. But we get to eat the sauce tonight on spaghetti with little meatballs (stereotype, anyone?)
Yay. Congratulate me. :)
Um... what else. I can't believe only a few minutes ago I felt so happy... I was thinking about how long it has been since the things that hurt the most happened and how great it is to let go... well... I guess not.
THIS DOES NOT, HOWEVER, mean that The Denial MethodTM has died. No... I just need to work a little harder. I NEED to let go, I need to... it's not healthy to hold on.
Besides... something is happening right now I refuse to talk about that hurts even more. Maybe if I stop dreaming and let go before I start to hold on too tight, I won't get hurt. Maybe. Unless my grip is already too tight. Hmm. We'll see. And something better happen DAMN SOON BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF WAITING, I'm not patient anymore. It better happen now. NOW. Right this second. Or I will give up and do what I told Jessica: I think I want a lobotomy. :) It was a funny thing and I of course mean it jokingly, but sometimes I want, like, a temporary partial lobotomy or something.
Speaking of Something... when we were in the car this morning, Oldies 104.7 played Something backwards. They have this contest where you have to guess what song it was... I got it in like 2 seconds. I should have called in :(
Oops. I think the pot is boiling.
Ah well, I'll work through my stupidity and I'll be happy as ever again tomorrow. I like being happy. It's... nice.
Well, duh, lmao. :)
Maybe I'll write a poem or something.
I LOVE THE BEATLES
Ivyette @ 4:51 PM
Well... I thought I could let go. I thought I could stop the awful feelings and everything, but I guess I'll be haunted forever. It's no use; it's like I'm more content being completely miserable than when I'm happy. I should have known.
I'm very bitter now.
grr.
In other news... I cooked salsa al pomodori (I think) yesterday... that's tomato sauce, lmao.
Cooking is fun. Except when things burn. Then it's not fun. But we get to eat the sauce tonight on spaghetti with little meatballs (stereotype, anyone?)
Yay. Congratulate me. :)
Um... what else. I can't believe only a few minutes ago I felt so happy... I was thinking about how long it has been since the things that hurt the most happened and how great it is to let go... well... I guess not.
THIS DOES NOT, HOWEVER, mean that The Denial MethodTM has died. No... I just need to work a little harder. I NEED to let go, I need to... it's not healthy to hold on.
Besides... something is happening right now I refuse to talk about that hurts even more. Maybe if I stop dreaming and let go before I start to hold on too tight, I won't get hurt. Maybe. Unless my grip is already too tight. Hmm. We'll see. And something better happen DAMN SOON BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF WAITING, I'm not patient anymore. It better happen now. NOW. Right this second. Or I will give up and do what I told Jessica: I think I want a lobotomy. :) It was a funny thing and I of course mean it jokingly, but sometimes I want, like, a temporary partial lobotomy or something.
Speaking of Something... when we were in the car this morning, Oldies 104.7 played Something backwards. They have this contest where you have to guess what song it was... I got it in like 2 seconds. I should have called in :(
Oops. I think the pot is boiling.
Ah well, I'll work through my stupidity and I'll be happy as ever again tomorrow. I like being happy. It's... nice.
Well, duh, lmao. :)
Maybe I'll write a poem or something.
I LOVE THE BEATLES
Ivyette @ 4:51 PM
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Re:
Ivy
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no subject
Ivyette
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Um...Jeebus. i don't even know what to say anymore. Everything has been over said...so for now... *hugs*
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Ivyette
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Same to you.
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Ivyette