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[ivybgreenflower]

It would be nice to not be lonely for a change. All day long I'm lonely. At school I am lonely. Lunch is torture. I don't care how hot Malfoy1 is, I'M LONELY.
I'm sick of talking to people and getting that "whatever, let the weird girl ramble, maybe she'll stop soon" look.
I'm really, really sick of living this way. It doesn't matter what I do, I'll always be that weird girl who talks too much and isn't cool and blah blah blah. I'll always get those weird looks when people think I'm not looking. I'm sick of it. I quit. I never want to leave my house ever again.
EVER. Go away. Leave me alone. Stop making fun of me. STOP! STOP!
I keep hearing things. STUPID VOICES, GO AWAY. Or at least answer me. I'm sick of just hearing my name being called, or that stupid fricken doorbell.

And I can't let go. I don't want to. I'm never letting go. I am in denial. DO YOU HEAR ME? I AM IN DENIAL.
I lost my favorite relative. No I didn't.
I lost my grandparents. No I didn't.
I lost a few uncles. No I didn't.
I lost a Beatle. No I didn't.
I lost a boyfriend. No I didn't.
I lost my mind. No I didn't.

I GIVE UP. GOODBYE.

Did you ever stop to think, maybe it DOES hurt to be called names? That maybe I haven't gotten over it? Over what? ANYTHING.
I take a long time to heal. Get over it.
Ha.
I'd like to see you try it. I'd like to see you lose your family... almost every six months, oops, someone else kicked the bucket, too bad, she was nice/he was cool, ok time to get over it, what, you want to feel bad? No, you're not allowed.

Why don't your shoes match? What's wrong with you?
Why is there a fork around your neck? Why are you so weird?

Hatred the likes of which previously unknown to man courses through my veins. Oops.

This entry makes no sense.
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!! STOP!

--@ 10:04

Comments

[ordinaryturtle.livejournal.com]

it's ok it's ok, calm down. One thing you have to realize is high school can be very cruel, but by letting those names get to you is showing that they are stronger and you are weak. "You must fight" - Gandalf. I understand that losing family can be extremely hard and you do have to accept it. Know that though they may not be there physically but they are spiritually watching out for you. Moving on is hard but take however long you want to heal, don't think that someone is trying to rush you in the healing process and if they are SMACK THEM! Losing a boyfriend/girlfriend can be hard also. But sometimes you can't just dwell on that one guy, there must be SOMEONE better than him though right now you probably find that unlikely, but there is. Also no, you haven't lost your mind, if you did how could you be writing this?

"Why don't your shoes match" - idiot
"So I can get stupid people like yourself to ask me that!" - You

"What's wrong with you?" - idiot
"You! Being around you lowers my IQ! SHOO SHOO! I want to keep it above 150 thank you very much!" - You

"Why is there a fork around your neck?" - idiot
"In case I get the urge to stab someone who asks me a very stupid question ::evil glare::" - You

"Why are you so weird?" - idiot
"I'm not the one who's trendy or follows their friends everywhere...haha I should ask you why you're weird!" - You

Those are just some comebacks to say to those idiots!

[ivybgreenflower]

Oooh thankyou. :)
<3
Ivyette

[living-in-ennui.livejournal.com]

Gracie! Relax. I'm sorry you feel so sad but just remember, if you want someone to talk to, YOUR FRIENDS are here. And we shan't question your choice of shoe color.

Oh, and good comebacks, Matt. :D

[ivybgreenflower]

*remembering* K.
Kthnxbi
<3
Ivyette

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

How are you lovely all day long? You've got people who love you. They may not be like Malfoytwin1 but you've got friends.

Funny, I never really thought of you as someone who cared about what other people thought of you. I thought that was why you wore the different colored shoes and acted a bit ecentric. Maybe that's why I wanted to be your friend? But maybe I was wrong?
And I wish to know, to whom was this post written to? I'd feel bad if you were talking to me. If I am one of those people, I'm sorry:/ I know being called names or being insulted sucks. I find it rather surprising, but that shit happenes to me every day o.O;

Why are you torturing yourself upon the loss of your loved ones?

ah, jeebus, I couldn't resist this last part... I'm not really one to hate, but this is one aspect of life that I surely do hate. I sure you do too...

"Hate humanity? Yep, sure do. There's such a lack of responsibilty for one's actions in the world, a selfishness, and a great destruction in the way people live their lives. It's all instant gratification,and who cares how my instant gratification affects those around me, or on a small personal level or a global level. The way people treat eachother is truly disgusting, and we've created an environment through advances in science and technology that allows for a very septic society to thrive. And we breed and breed, and all the wrong people breed while all the right people don't wanna have children because they don't wanna place them in this world." -- Davey Havok

[ivybgreenflower]

Thank you. <3
Ivyette

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

"How are you lovely all day long?"

haha! typo!!!

[ivybgreenflower]

Yeah, I noticed that... lmao
Ivyette

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

I noticed that you noticed, because you vorrected my mistake.

[ivybgreenflower]

yes, I did. I did vorrect your mistake. :))))
Ivyette

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

Oh hush. leave me alone!
I suck at typing...better than jess though...
Look no typos! i hope!

[ivybgreenflower]

No typoes! Whoo!
MUCH better than Jess because she not only spells everything wrong, she uses short forms and such and looks stupid... lol.
Ivyette

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

ye.s i kno wat u meen.

[ivybgreenflower]

k cuz i waz wuried u mite nt no wut i wuz talkn bout, u no?
Ityevte

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

I met mean.
Sotp mokin mee.

[ivybgreenflower]

k i wlil,
Ivyette

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

kthks...

i men.
kthxs
ktx
tktx...

kthx.

[ivybgreenflower]

k.
Ivyrina

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

*20 minutes later*

kj...
i man kk.

[ivybgreenflower]

Its k i no wut u men
Ivyette

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

goof.
how do ppl type in shorthand?
It seems hrdr...

[ivybgreenflower]

I know! It takes me like 5 minutes to type out stuff in shorthand when I could type it in 10 seconds by typing it out... stupid people always do things the hard way, anyway.
Ivyette

[ofstaticpallor.livejournal.com]

totally.
Unless they were born with some odd gene...

[ivybgreenflower]

I think that's it... ack
Ivyette