Ivy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ivybgreenflower) wrote2004-10-14 11:01 pm
ivybgreenflower) wrote2004-10-14 11:01 pm
Listen up, you Peas!
The past few weeks were probably very eventful but I'll pretend they weren't so I can excuse my lack of posting.
Hotmail totally screwed over my comments, so that's why I haven't commented back on like, anything, and I haven't commented period, really, except for a few minor things. I feel like such a slacker. But I've had homework to do. I hate it, I don't comment and everyone's all "OMFGZ YOU DINDT' COMENTE WTF U HAET MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE", but if I do, everyone's all "OMFGZ DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!!!" So yeah.
One thing that has me really depressed is how, like, my entire Paul McCartney collection has been... ruined. Like, so many of his songs used to mean so much to me... the lyrics described my life perfectly... and now they don't. So when I listen to them there's this big, uncomfortable hole where all that emotion used to be. Depression, elatedness, love... it's gone. They're just... words and melodies now. Meaningless. And then on top of that I listen to them and get these... memories. Memories of all of those feelings and the people associated with them. And I feel guilty because those people are gone and out of my life now, or changed, or whatever, and I'm the only one who hasn't let go. So while I used to tear my hair out and scream because of just how meaningful they were, now I want to tear my hair out and cry because of how meaningful they used to be and now are NOT, and how I miss those feelings. I even kind of miss the misery, how depressed I'd get and how horrible I felt. I miss those raw, all-consuming emotions. I miss that feeling of extreme high and intense low. Now I just exist, and I feel like because the roller coaster is gone, I'm emotionless. I'm not, of course, but I feel that way. Of course I still get happy and sad, and frustrated and annoyed, and I'm insanely in love, but... I don't know what I'm saying. Ignore the demented rambling plz.
We now return to our regularly scheduled ivybgreenflower programming kthnx.
I hate school so effing much. The people... they're all alike. The little groups full of people I honestly couldn't tell apart. Hippies and Preps and Gangstaz and every other group, they are all like that. So in a sense I feel like I don't belong, but then not really because I like being different, and I like being moderately intelligent. Maybe it's just that I don't belong here, I belong somewhere else with people like me, where I can pack up my friends and boyfriend and bring them there and we'll live in peace and eat donuts.
I have NO idea how donuts fit in, but yeah. I don't know what I was saying, lmao. Let's see, what else has been going on in the mind of Ivy B. Greenflower?
Hmm. PSATs were an action-packed 19 hours. Uh, k, so they were massively boring and lasted only like 3 hours, but still. They were fun. I mean, it's fun to think you've aced something. Math was hard :( but reading was SO EASY. Like, OMFG YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME easy. Mr. Auricchio commented that Jeremy- he's a Thug-wannabe who took PSATs with me, should sit next to each other next time so we can trade answers- I'll do reading and he'll do math- so we can get perfect scores. Since he's a MORON, but he's really nice and apparently good at math. Yeah, Mr. A will be proposing any day now. (le ew, I know, but I love it when teachers favor the smart kids. I = the smart kids. Yes, I am plural q:)
Why is no one online? COME ONLINE, BITCHES!
El debate' in Spanish is very... like... grr. It's so frustrating because the research is faulty, and then no one speaks Spanish, so I spend 50 or so minutes sitting there frustrated as hell. I can't/am supposed to only not/whatever participate because I AM Kerry, so I'm giving a campaign speech at the end of the debate. Stroke of luck, Bianca's doing Bush's, so we sit and make faces at each other (from opposite sides of the room...) and pretend to strangle ourselves (my hair is so long I could hang myself with it, which is fun to do in class. Still, there are only so many times you can hang yourself before it gets old/boring/people start staring.) but whatever.
Hah, I'm an emo-drama queen. Bow down to me, plzkthnx. :)
Comment time ;) Expect some fullllll inboxes tomorrow morning. :D!!
Ivyette <3 11:05 PM
Hotmail totally screwed over my comments, so that's why I haven't commented back on like, anything, and I haven't commented period, really, except for a few minor things. I feel like such a slacker. But I've had homework to do. I hate it, I don't comment and everyone's all "OMFGZ YOU DINDT' COMENTE WTF U HAET MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE", but if I do, everyone's all "OMFGZ DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!!!" So yeah.
One thing that has me really depressed is how, like, my entire Paul McCartney collection has been... ruined. Like, so many of his songs used to mean so much to me... the lyrics described my life perfectly... and now they don't. So when I listen to them there's this big, uncomfortable hole where all that emotion used to be. Depression, elatedness, love... it's gone. They're just... words and melodies now. Meaningless. And then on top of that I listen to them and get these... memories. Memories of all of those feelings and the people associated with them. And I feel guilty because those people are gone and out of my life now, or changed, or whatever, and I'm the only one who hasn't let go. So while I used to tear my hair out and scream because of just how meaningful they were, now I want to tear my hair out and cry because of how meaningful they used to be and now are NOT, and how I miss those feelings. I even kind of miss the misery, how depressed I'd get and how horrible I felt. I miss those raw, all-consuming emotions. I miss that feeling of extreme high and intense low. Now I just exist, and I feel like because the roller coaster is gone, I'm emotionless. I'm not, of course, but I feel that way. Of course I still get happy and sad, and frustrated and annoyed, and I'm insanely in love, but... I don't know what I'm saying. Ignore the demented rambling plz.
We now return to our regularly scheduled ivybgreenflower programming kthnx.
I hate school so effing much. The people... they're all alike. The little groups full of people I honestly couldn't tell apart. Hippies and Preps and Gangstaz and every other group, they are all like that. So in a sense I feel like I don't belong, but then not really because I like being different, and I like being moderately intelligent. Maybe it's just that I don't belong here, I belong somewhere else with people like me, where I can pack up my friends and boyfriend and bring them there and we'll live in peace and eat donuts.
I have NO idea how donuts fit in, but yeah. I don't know what I was saying, lmao. Let's see, what else has been going on in the mind of Ivy B. Greenflower?
Hmm. PSATs were an action-packed 19 hours. Uh, k, so they were massively boring and lasted only like 3 hours, but still. They were fun. I mean, it's fun to think you've aced something. Math was hard :( but reading was SO EASY. Like, OMFG YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME easy. Mr. Auricchio commented that Jeremy- he's a Thug-wannabe who took PSATs with me, should sit next to each other next time so we can trade answers- I'll do reading and he'll do math- so we can get perfect scores. Since he's a MORON, but he's really nice and apparently good at math. Yeah, Mr. A will be proposing any day now. (le ew, I know, but I love it when teachers favor the smart kids. I = the smart kids. Yes, I am plural q:)
Why is no one online? COME ONLINE, BITCHES!
El debate' in Spanish is very... like... grr. It's so frustrating because the research is faulty, and then no one speaks Spanish, so I spend 50 or so minutes sitting there frustrated as hell. I can't/am supposed to only not/whatever participate because I AM Kerry, so I'm giving a campaign speech at the end of the debate. Stroke of luck, Bianca's doing Bush's, so we sit and make faces at each other (from opposite sides of the room...) and pretend to strangle ourselves (my hair is so long I could hang myself with it, which is fun to do in class. Still, there are only so many times you can hang yourself before it gets old/boring/people start staring.) but whatever.
Hah, I'm an emo-drama queen. Bow down to me, plzkthnx. :)
Comment time ;) Expect some fullllll inboxes tomorrow morning. :D!!
Ivyette <3 11:05 PM
no subject
You can have mine. I don't want mine.
Instead of donuts can we have blueberry muffins?...and cheetos?
no subject
And of course. ;)
Ivyette
no subject
I know you <3 the Beatles 4E but you could always look into finding different music. There is other good stuff out there, I promise. Maybe take a break from what you always listened to. When you listen to it again maybe you won't feel so bad about it. *shrug*
I would love to run away and eat donuts.
Jeremy's smart at math...? ........
I probably would've been online at 11 but I'd gotten online around 4 and was still on by 10 so coughhackwheeze.
I'm just dreading the day Delgado realizes what we've been doing.
Dude, you're not even kidding. I have 27 new e-mails and 26 are livejournal. I have a feeling there's a lot of ivybgreenflower...
no subject
2. Maybe.
3. Donuts WHOO.
4. I suppose so. *shrug*
5. lmao
6. She won't, she's O-BLIV-I-OUS.
7. Mostly all, yeah.
Ivyette
no subject
no subject
Hahah, don't bother. PSATs aren't necessary to be studied for, really.
Ivyette
no subject