ivybgreenflower: The Beatles (late period), surrounded by green plants and red flowers (Default)
Ivy ([personal profile] ivybgreenflower) wrote2004-10-01 12:08 am
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  • Current Mood: Don't let another day go by
  • Current Music: It's time to spread your wings and fly

Bleh.

I'm tired. And I'm not sleepy-tired. I'm sick and tired. I'm tired of feeling guilty and egotistical and feeling like an elitist. I'm tired of feeling like a bitch and I'm tired of being insecure. I'm tired of no one listening, I'm tired of having a ridiculous load of homework, I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of worrying about how the world sees me and how I look, I'm tired of being too fat for my taste (and I am NOT calling myself fat, I'm merely saying that the bulk of my normal weight is in my stomach and it's annoying me to look at.). I'm tired of feeling stupid, and censored, and call me a bitch but I'm tired of worrying about hurting other people's feelings. I'm tired of my handwriting, I'm tired of my nailpolish, I'm tired of how everyone makes fun of my inability to let go. Well, let me tell you, I'm not being stubborn. It's a real insecurity, an irrational phobia. I get physically ill at the thought of letting go, and it took me two weeks to get up the nerve to change my nail color. I had to psych myself up for a month before my last haircut (two inches, plzkthnx). I'm tired of being a perfectionist for some things and a complete slob for others. I'm just... tired.

Homecoming dress shopping soon.
Ivyette @ 12:21 AM
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Angel dust.

[identity profile] takauji.livejournal.com 2004-10-01 08:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I have the same problem with letting go of things. my mom wanted to change this little storage thing in my room for a bigger one 3 months ago. She put it together and moved it in here on her own and i still ahve the old storage thing in here, I hate the new one and now she's trying to convince me to change my room around and paint the walls. Bleh!

That's not to mention my hair. I want a haircut now, but I don't want to cut it lol...

*squeezes* And as far as I'm concerend I don't think you're bitchy, egotistical or anything like that at all.

Love, luck, and lollipops

P.S. I love you.
ivybgreenflower: (Individual)

Re: Angel dust.

[personal profile] ivybgreenflower 2004-10-15 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
You roxorz like whoa.
Letting go is hard... but I'll never have to let go of you! :)
You = teh_bestest EVER EVER in the history of EVERNESS.
Ivyette
P.S. I love you too. ;)

[identity profile] grifftrackw00t.livejournal.com 2004-10-01 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Letting go is far, from what I know, you are none of those things. Hopefully people change their minds. If not, I'll kick their butts for ya or with ya.
ivybgreenflower: The Beatles (late period), surrounded by green plants and red flowers (Default)

[personal profile] ivybgreenflower 2004-10-15 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, thanks hon :) with, plz.
Ivyette
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